Today, Christians ask themselves and fellow Christians “What would Jesus do?” when confronted with a situation in which they don't know what to do. I don't believe it is a good question for us to ask and here's why.
The longer I live, the more convinced I become of how easy it is to allow irretrievable moments to slip away. I thought I learned this when Cynthia and I reared our four children. I'm finding it just as true now with our 10 grandchildren. Regardless of our demanding schedules and in spite of our many responsibilities, we need to treasure those precious moments our children offer. Let me get practical right up front and ask the question that's on your mind, “How do you do that?” I'm glad you asked.
Marital conflict is a fact of life because of different motives, methods, perspectives, personalities, and desires. Conflict per se isn't necessarily bad. But when conflict is rooted in sin and self-centredness, or resolved in sinful ways then it will be unhealthy and destructive. Here are four ways to distinguish the sources for the conflict and address accordingly.
Our situation resembled a perfect storm capable of wreaking havoc on our marriage. Thankfully we weathered it and are still happily married 29 years later. Not all couples fare as well. Many marriages shipwreck when crisis strikes, but devastation can be avoided. Here are a few insights I've learned through personal experience and by watching other couples.
Until my traditions were combined with another I went about them without question. Holiday seasons packed full with family gatherings, turkey dinners, and everything else one does before settling back into the day-to-day. Maybe it's my season of life but approaching Easter this year, unlike the ones before, I find myself reflecting on my traditions—everything from how family meals work to attending church services.
Things didn't go as expected. What was supposed to have been a wonderful gathering full of hope, joy, and celebration seemed to have gone wrong. Terribly wrong.
To all husbands everywhere, I urge you to join me in this high and holy pursuit—to make loving your wife your aim so that coming home might always be your delight (and your wife's delight), never your dread. As that happens, we need never fear death; instead, loving our wives will help us start to live.
“I know the Bible says keep no record of wrongs, and that revenge is for the Lord alone, but it's really hard to forget about the bad things people have done. And what about the bad things I've done? I know I deserve death for the sins I've committed—how can God possibly forgive me for all the times I've rejected Him? And how can I live in that forgiveness when I can't forget the things I've done?”
I wish you could meet Jim and Jean Southworth. They're my kind of people. No one understands better than the Southworths that no matter how tough things get there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it's coming from the headlights of a truck.