Read James 4:1–3

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. (James 4:1–3)

The word “pleasures” doesn't sound very hostile, does it? Maybe not in our English language, but the Greek word is the one from which we get “hedonism.” It means the strong desire to get what one does not have, which includes the idea of satisfying oneself...the passion to get what one wants, regardless. Such an intense craving drives us to shameful and selfish actions. As James puts it, such pleasures lead us to “wage war”—strateuo—from which we get “strategy” Our desire to get what we want prompts us to strategize: to put a plan in motion that will result in my getting my way.

If it calls for a fight, fight! If it means an argument, argue! If it will require getting other people to back me up, enlist! If stronger words will help me reach my objective and get what I want, murder!

I realize we don’t carry weapons to church—not literally. That is not necessary, since the muscle behind our teeth is always ready to launch its killing missiles. We may not bring blood from another’s body, but we certainly know how to make them squirm and hopefully surrender. And we never admit it is because we are selfish or because we crave our own way—there’s always a principle at stake or a cause worth fighting for that’s bigger than personalities.

There are those times when it is essential to stand one’s ground and refuse to compromise biblical principles. But more often than not the nasty infighting among us is embarrassingly petty. And, unfortunately, the world has a field day watching us fight and quarrel for the silliest of reasons.

Rationalizing our wrong attitudes and actions, we Christians will go to amazing lengths to get our way. The history of the church is strewn with the litter of battle. Sometimes I wonder how the Shepherd puts up with us. We can be such wayward, stubborn sheep! And to think He sees it all—each and every cutting word or ugly act—yet loves us still. Only because of His grace are we able to continue on.

An edited adaption from Charles R. Swindoll, Laugh Again: Experience Outrageous Joy (Thomas Nelson, 1995), 178.