What does a couple praying together look and feel like? Here’s the target I am proposing.
Couple prayer is a husband and wife who, being honest with God and with each other, join together regularly, in spite of their marital imperfections or personal brokenness, to humbly reach out to Him for strength, direction, and perspective. They go to God as one. They want His will for their lives and family.
Marital prayer is a step of faith the two of you take together. Remember, you are both naked before God—He sees all and knows all—so worry less about your words. Get over yourselves. Admit you need the Lord in your lives (Proverbs 3:5-6). He knows you need Him far more than you do. Get your hearts right before Him. Your prayer together is an act of surrender to the God who is there, the God who cares for you and responds to you.
THE BENEFITS OF PRAYING TOGETHER
Let me try to convince you to start with my top 10 benefits of praying together. Here’s what it could do for your marriage.
1. You’ll hear and understand the heart of your spouse. It will bring you a growing emotional connection. I met a man in his sixties who had never prayed with his wife. He took my challenge to start praying with her that night. The next morning he said, “I heard her heart. I know it will allow me to get closer to her. I am so excited.” That’s the truth.
2. You’ll face your stresses together at the deepest level. Whether it’s life or family problems, admitting them and asking God for wisdom and help is a good thing. We are called to give Him all our worries and cares because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). It’s called crisis intimacy. You’re in this together.
3. You’ll keep heading in the same direction as a couple. Unity is a good thing. Build according to His plan, maintaining a shared commitment toward a better marriage. “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it…” (Psalm 127:1 NASB).
4. You’ll have a better chance of staying close to the Lord. A soft heart is a responsive heart. A sinful heart separates you from God. By keeping surrendered to Him, you can more easily hear and do what He wants you to do as a partner, a parent, and a person. Hebrews 3:12 calls us to watch out for each other for “a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.”
5. You’ll show love for your spouse as you pray with and for him or her.You know your spouse’s needs and concerns. Love is lifting them up to the Lord and in so doing, helping to carry the burden (Galatians 6:2).
6. You’ll enjoy the sense of being anchored to God with your lives. There is something bigger going on than just the two of you. God is with you. He’ll never leave you and knows all you are facing. Let Him be the anchor for the soul of your marriage, firm and secure (Hebrews 6:19).
7. You’ll have a softer, more forgiving heart. Face it. You can’t expect God’s forgiveness if you won’t extend it to your spouse. Go to God either relationally connected or asking Him to help you reconnect. Since you can’t play games with God, why not quit playing games with each other. If you walk in the light of the Lord, you’ll have fellowship with each other (1 John 1:7).
8. You’ll keep humble as people and as a couple on your knees. We do need God to make sense out of life. Tell Him so. Fight your human nature that strives for independence from God. Remember, prayer is the two of you as creatures humbly kneeling together before your Creator. He is sovereign.
9. You’ll defeat the enemy who wants to divide you. The Devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for a couple to devour (1 Peter 5:8). Through your sincere and alert prayers together, you unleash the power of God in your lives and marriage. The enemy cannot touch you with his schemes.
10. You’ll prevent your own divorce. Couples with a shared faith and common spiritual values are amongst those who enjoy a longer, more satisfying marriage. Research from a 1997 Gallup Poll by the National Association of Marriage Enhancement showed that couples who pray together daily have less than one per cent chance of experiencing divorce. Go figure. God does have a plan—pray together.
“A family that prays together stays together.” This may appear to be just an old familiar saying but could it be true? It seems so.