Without taking a personality test, it’s clear I am reserved. Sharing feelings, hugs, and situations leading to public displays of emotion are things I try to avoid.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not afraid of these things. But I feel vulnerable and exposed—maybe “raw” is a better word—when what I really feel is obvious to everyone.
It’s so easy to get hurt, and people don’t seem to be very sensitive. It’s a lot easier to hide your feelings away so you can’t get hurt.
Therefore, I’ve always been baffled, lost for words, when I think of God’s love. I have trouble connecting how exposed and vulnerable He had to be when He sent Jesus to earth to redeem us and save us from our punishment of death by dying in our place.
The verse I’ve found the most problematic, is one of the first verses I memorized: John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life,” (NIV). Over and over I’ve thought to myself: What does this mean? How could God put Himself out there like that? Doesn’t He know how many of us reject Him and won’t accept His salvation?
Jesus confronted the very thing I’m most afraid of: being rejected for who you are and what you stand for. In the face of unbelief, Jesus stood firm. He knew who He was without a doubt and was certain of what was true. So badly I want to understand the conviction and passion of Jesus, and be like Him.
I find, in my regular, ordinary life, that I tend to love other people deeply, but hesitate to let them in on my secret. If I really take Jesus’ example of love, regardless of it being returned or rejected, I need to be vulnerable.
Looking at love this way is scary, but at the same time, I feel assurance that God loves me without fail. Psalm 13:6 says, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.” Even if I’m hurt by rejection, I know my worth rests in God’s love. He sent His Son to die for me. He knows my worth and continues to value me, no matter how many times I forget Him.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
By Robyn Roste
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