I have an expressive face, but apart from that I tend not to show a lot of outward emotion. I think and feel as much as the next person, but often I’m slow to let others in on what my thoughts and feelings actually are.
And regardless of my actual feelings, people tend to take me as aloof, rude, disinterested, snobby, distracted, uncaring, etc. Harsh. My reserved nature is probably rooted in personality and being an introvert, and it’s something I never used to think about it.
While I don’t exactly understand the non-verbal cues my body language imparts, I do recognize I am unintentionally influencing people for the worse. And that is something to think about.
From the dictionary, “influence” is the effect a person or thing has on another. And it seems no one can avoid influencing, intentionally or not. Everyone affects each other—either positively or negatively.
In our society, whether it’s in business, politics, or everyday life, it is the people imparting positive influence over our behaviour and ethics who are celebrated. We often choose leaders and friends based on the good we believe they will bring to our lives.
And Bible-times were no different. When Moses needed help ruling Israel, he chose capable men, (Exodus 18:25) who had wisdom, understanding, and a good reputation (Deuteronomy 1:13). The book of Nehemiah highlights leading by example—solving problems by taking action. And the Apostle Paul made sure to appoint Spirit-filled leaders to oversee the churches he planted (Acts 14:23).
Thinking about my own life, I wonder how much more effective I will be if I choose what my influence will be. This does not mean I need to deliver every sentence I speak with a smile, but I should be aware what my body language is saying to others. If my goal is to encourage people to look to Christ for their hope, but I come off as aloof or uncaring (intentional or not), what sort of mark will I make?
What about you? What are some ways you can be a better influence?
By Robyn Roste
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